THIS GOLDILOCKS ROCKS
May 2nd 2010 18:30
Link: www.thejukeboxhero.com
"Well the real thing come and the real thing go.....
Well the real thing is back in town....
Ask me if you wanna know the way to Coolsville..."
----Rickie Lee Jones
"Coolsville"
No matter what the eventual outcome of this season's presentation of "American Idol", one thing seems pretty certain.....Casey James will be greatly relieved.
LOTS OF ROCKS IN THESE LOCKS
It started from the moment Casey made his audition for "American Idol's" ninth season in Denver. Singing John Mayer's "Slow Dancing In A Burning Room", Casey may not have appreciated at first what an appropriate song he had chosen. With the sound of James' honey and whisky voice echoing in their ears, suitably impressed cougar judges, Kara DioGuardi and Victoria Beckham, instantly labeled Casey a "hottie" and then, desiring to get a really good peek at his talents, urged him to let down his long locks and take off his shirt, which James, slightly uncomfortable but obviously wanting to advance in the contest, good-naturedly complied. After oogling him a bit longer, the two steamy judges, along with Randy Jackson, gave James the thumbs up, while Crusty Simon Cowell, probably irked that he didn't get the girl's attention himself, rolled his eyes and voted no. But, despite the wee bit of sexually-charged coercion vaguely reminescent of a "Casting Couch", Casey had managed to get his Golden Ticket. During the ensuing Hollywood Week , Kara was back at it again, wooing and swooning and panting breathlessly as James performed a smooth, accomplished version of "Heaven" by Bryan Adams, where at the conclusion DioGuardi gushed that not only was James eye candy, he was also "ear candy". At times while addressing Casey, Kara appeared as if she was ready to reinact the scene from "Idol" last season where she ripped off her dress to reveal a skimpy bikini and alot of skin.
Duran Duran sang about being hungry as a wolf, but, it couldn't compare with the ravenous hunger of a cougar on the prowl.
Since then, the combination of James' good looks and DioGuardi's lusty pseudo-crush on him became an ongoing joke on the show. Cowell, who quickly recognized what was going on, and never one to resist the temptation to twist the knife into the human psyche, has played up the scene for all its worth, frequently zinging Kara about her flirty fixation on James, while at the same time, in the sprit of the occasion, christening Casey with the moniker of "Goldilocks". The unfortunate thing about all this is that the cheesy amorous display DioGuardi manufactured, and the hype surrounding it, may actually be hurting Casey's chances in this season's competition. DioGuardi, a married woman, has conveniently chosen her sophomore season on the show to portray herself up as a sophomoric sex-starved kitten, biding her lusty attention between Casey and Simon , while moving her seat closer and closer to her fellow judge where they often seem to be connected at all parts. DioGuardi has sought desperately to become "Idol's" new Paula, a creature full of ardent love and devotion for all humanity, and a particular affinity for certain male contestants. Everyone has noticed, and fans of "Idol" are not exactly thrilled with Dio's awkward, mawkish displays of affection. Not everyone wants to vote for a contestant who appears to be pimped out to the public by an overheated judge, irrespective of the contestant's obvious good looks and talent.
DioGuardi's overzealous, meretritious schoolgirl antics toward Casey received lots of attention around the media circuits and gossip rags. Most of it was clearly unfavorable, so much, in fact, that Idol producers felt it warranted to reign in these seismic emotional eruptions. Evidence of that was she suddenly became a changed woman during the next weeks of competition, radically amending her attitude toward Casey, taking up a haughty mein and becoming highly critical of his performances, while quickly redirecting her amorous attention solely on her pugnacious playmate, Simon Cowell. Her thinly-disguised efforts to lose the lustiness and restore some semblance as an impartial and objective judge have, for the most part, failed miserably, because her critiques continue to be riddled with conflict and inconsistency, making DioGuardi look more than anything else like a flighty buffoon full of knobby opinions.
Cowell himself, the self-proclaimed Diviner of pop music, has ostensibly manuvered to steer James away from his lifelong love for bluesy rock and mold him into the image of a dashing pop Crooner. By crowning Casey the slightly "unmanly" label of "Goldilocks", Cowell has strategically tried to supplant the image of a Plant/Coverdale/Allman rocker for that of a serenading Fabio. Every time Casey picks up his guitar to rock us, Cowell chides him for it, claiming that he's either hiding behind it or drowning out his singing with his mean axe-playing. When he sings and plays before the microphone the judges tend to chastise him for being too stiff. Apparently, they all want him to wander around the stage, sway, and croon.
Is it any wonder why James often looks mystified?
Casey James, though, is unique talent. Not only does he have the distiction of being this season's heartthrob, he possesses a surprisingly fine singing voice, especially during those times he really wants to cut loose. His voice has a lush, rich quality. Sometimes he even sounds a bit British in the way he pronounces his vowels during a vocal, like Denny Laine of the Moody Blues or Ray Davies of The Kinks. Alot a people think he sounds like Bob Seger, and I hear that, too, but personally, I think he's more Sammy Hagar, Johnny Lang, or Stevie Ray Vaughn. And, lately, he has definitely proven capable of sounding like the Top 40 honeydripper the judges are trying so hard to make him out to be. Casey is enormously versatile in any style. His evocative rendition of John Lennon's "Jealous Guy" during the "Lennon-McCartney Songbook Week" finally established his place as a bonafide vocalist on the same level as Crystal Bowersox and Michael Lynche, something both Casey's fans and those sitting on the fence with respect to his talents, had long awaited.
This past week Casey delivered his best performance of the season, and arguably the best of any contestant, with a stirring version of Shania Twain's "Don't". Every one of the judges lavishly praised James' effort as a vocalist. By now it should be clear that Casey James is every bit a masterful performer with slow sensitive ballads as he is with the blistering rock numbers we rarely see him perform.
But, it is the relentless assortment of cryptic and confounding assessments emanating from the judges that must have James scratching his head in bewilderment.
OFTEN THE IDOL JUDGES DON'T AGREE ON CASEY'S PERFORMANCES
With the ouster of screamer, Siobhan Magnus, this past week, Casey joins Lee DeWyze, Michael Lynche, Aaron Kelly, and frontrunning female, Crystal Bowersox, as the five final contestants standing. With only a few weeks remaining, hope is still afloat that James will get to really unleash the rock before his fate is decided, so we can actually appreciate what a fine and talented rocker he is. Perhaps, before it's all over, Casey will get to channel his Hagar with Chickenfoot's "Oh Yeah" or satisfy the Bob Seger contingent with "The Fire Down Below", "Her Strut", or Wreck This Heart".
This week "Idol" is featuring a Sinatra theme night, so, unless Frank ever recorded "Cat Scratch Fever" or "Misty Mountain Hop", I guess Casey will be back to his soft crooning. Not much room to strap on the guitar and rock "When I Was 17".
Once "Idol" has concluded and he can break away from Cowell's tireless efforts to shape-shift him into a long-haired Michael Buble, we will be treated to some great bluesy rock and roll by Casey James in his future recording projects.
In the meantime, we know that our Coolsville Casey James ROCKS!
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